


Frightened You’ll Slip Away (You Must Love Me)

by Purple_Pixie143



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Memory Loss, Temporary Physical Disability, zaniam - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-30
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-03-09 19:04:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3260975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purple_Pixie143/pseuds/Purple_Pixie143
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An accident alters Harry and Louis’ lives in more than one way. Can they deal with their insecurities, and let love prevail; or will they let it rip away at their insides and allow them to break them apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i.

** Frightened You’ll Slip Away (You Must Love Me) **

 

**i.**

**Louis**

All he could remember was the sickening sound of metal being squished together. A voice echoed in the distance. He turned to look to his side, searching for the voice, that voice his life-line. He blinked his eyes, his vision clearing to reveal a pretty young lady, a tentative smile on her face.

“You fell asleep sir,” her smile starting to grow.

He wanted to say something to her, but his tongue felt heavy in his mouth.

“Do you know where you are?” the girl asked and he shook his head, he really didn’t have a clue.

She nodded, “Do you at least know your name?”

“Lou-Louis,” he struggled to say, his voice sounding scratchy from lack of use.

“Very good,” she said. “Can you tell me the year?”

He struggled with that, why couldn’t he come up with a definitive answer?

“2013?” he guessed.

The smile on her face dropped briefly but then she was touching him, checking for what, God only knows. 

“You were in an accident a few weeks ago,” she said quietly. “I’m going to get the doctor alright?”

He nodded and she gave his arm a reassuring pat before she disappeared out the door. The room, which he now recognized as a hospital room, was quiet save for the sound of the machines he was hooked up to and there was an intense feeling bubbling within him; that feeling was fear.

******

Louis was sitting up by the time the doctor arrived, and he was getting antsy. There were too many things off about this whole thing and he wanted to be out of the dark.

“Ah, I see we’re doing a bit better Mr. Tomlinson,” the slightly greying man said with a friendly smile.

“Not really,” Louis replied, grimacing as he struggled to sit up straighter.

The doctor nodded, “Well then, let’s see what’s going on shall we?”

The doctor thoroughly examined him for a few minutes, chatting and asking questions, many of which Louis couldn’t answer; only adding to his frustration. Everything was going fine until the doctor tapped Louis’ leg.

“Did that hurt?” the doctor asked.

Louis shook his head, he couldn’t feel anything!

The doctor tried again and got the same result. There was a frown on his face and that worried Louis. 

“I can’t feel my legs!” he cried, hysteria coloring his voice.

The doctor nodded, “It would seem that you are having a bit of temporary paralysis.”

Louis’ eyes widened, “As in I can’t walk?”

“It would appear that way, but this might only be a temporary situation. We’ll do some tests, but now let’s talk about the last thing you remember?” the doctor said.

Louis frowned and tried to think back to his last memory. 

“I just got transferred to Man U! Donny Rovers had a great season!” he said excitedly, when the memory came to his mind without much thought. 

“That was two years ago Louis,” the doctor said. “A lot has happened since then.”

Louis started to panic, his brain trying to process everything the doctor was saying. He was apparently paralyzed and it was obvious he was suffering from some sort of amnesia. And suddenly he couldn’t breathe, there was a tightness in his chest and his vision started to blur. There was a flurry of sound around him and then he felt the sting of a.needle being pressed into his skin. The last thing he remembered before succumbing to the drugs, was the doctor quietly reassuring him that it would be alright.

**A/N: Poor Lou, and where’s Harry?**


	2. ii

**ii**

**Louis**

When he came out of it a few hours later, he lay there for a while, tears staining his face. 

_How could this be happening to him?_

_What actually happened?_

He needed to get some answers, but where would he get them from?

There was a commotion going on outside his door and Louis strained to hear what was going on.

 _“…see him!”_ a deep voice said.

“You will Harry,” a familiar voice replied, and Louis wondered who the other person wanted to see. Their voice sounded distressed and frightened. Louis didn’t have much time to focus on that when the door opened and his mother walked in.

“Mum!” he cried, instinctively reaching out for her.

Almost instantly he was wrapped in the comforting warmth of his mother’s embrace.

“Boo-bear!” she sobbed, holding him as tightly as the tubes attached to him allowed. “Oh baby, you had mummy scared. Don’t ever do that to me again!”

Louis was too overcome with emotion to verbally reply, but he nodded as his mother stroked his head. If everything else seemed a blur, this was the one thing he would never forget; his mother’s love. The two hugged for what seemed an eternity before Jay pulled back to rain kisses all over his face.

“Alright mum,” his laugh turning into a cough. “You don’t have to smother me to death with kisses.”

His mother rolled her eyes, a watery smile on her face, “Well at least your cheek hasn’t been affected.”

“Can you tell ne what happened?” he asked as she dragged a chair close to his bed so she could sit.

He watched as his mother struggled to compose herself, her eyes closing briefly as though it were too hard for her to even recollect. 

“A drunk driver smashed into your car after your practice session,” she said softly. “You were trapped in the car for a bit, they had to cut you out.”

“And the other driver?” he asked, throat tightening up.

His mother’s face clouded with anger, “The fucking twat only got a broken arm.”

Louis could cry; and here he was, probably paralyzed.

“Where’s Liam and Zayn?” he asked.

Jay chuckled, “Outside, dying to come see you.”

Louis smiled at that, he was dying to see them too, “Well let them in then. I’m sure they’re being right terrors.”

His mother nodded, but didn’t move, a frown marring her features, “Lou, the doctor told me that you don’t remember a few things.”

He nodded, “Yeah, but it couldn’t be that bad. Liam and Zayn are here, which means things are still pretty normal.”

“Normal,” his mother scoffed. “Nothing about you lot has ever been normal. It’s just that they’ve been quite a few changes.”

“Good changes?” he asked, that feeling of fear once again clawing at his insides.

“I think they’re good,” his mum said, a fond smile on her face.

“Well there you have it,” Louis said. “As long as you and the lads are here, I can handle it. And this is all supposed to be temporary right?”

He had to stay positive, otherwise he’d go crazy with worry.

“Right,” Jay nodded and pressed a kiss to his forehead as she got to her feet. 

“I’ll go get the rowdies,” she said going to the door. 

He had a few minutes of quiet before the door was flung open and the heat of a body swallowed him. Hot tears trickled down his neck as Zayn sobbed into his shoulder.

 _“L-Loueh!”_ the man blubbered. _“I thought, like, you were going to die!”_

“Shh, shhh,” Louis crooned as he rubbed soothing circles into Zayn’s back. “I’m here. Lou’s here.” He looked up and he was met with Liam’s red rimmed gaze, the younger lad was stood there, quiet sobs wracking his body. Loyis uncurled one of his hands from around Zayn’s back and beckoned for his distraught mate.

Liam covered both of them easily, his broad body forming a shield around the three of them. Louis pressed kisses into Zayn’s hair, which was something new. It curled around the edges of the leather jacket he was wearing, brushing against Louis’ fingers; he squeezed Liam’s fingers with his other hand, drawing some of the lad’s quiet strength.

_Finally_ ,some familiarity. 

When the two men felt secure in the reality that Louis was indeed awake and fine, they stepped back. Louis noted that their hands blindly groped for each other’s before locking together in a show of solidarity.

Louis met his mother’s gaze and returned the smile she gave him, then his gaze shifted and he found himself looking at two men he didn’t know. The first one was short and fake blond (his brown roots were showing), and his bright blue gaze was filled with an odd look of longing. Almost as though he were holding himself back from attacking Louis. _Odd indeed._

And then there was the next lad, his body was lean and his torso much more longer than it need be. He had long curly hair, which hung limply around his gaunt face. There was suddenly the need to see his hair clean and fluffy around his pretty face.

The man had green eyes that seemed to pierce Louis’ very soul, they too were red rimmed. The man made a sound and Louis’ eyes were drawn unbidden to his mouth; plump red lips that begged to be kissed were moving, trying to form some semblance of coherent speech.

 _“Lou?”_ the voice was deep and drawn out, slow and warm like honey.

 _“Oh God **Lou!** Baby...”_the man started forward and made to come to Louis’ side, and then as if he were pulled by an invisible string, came to an abrupt halt. The look on Louis’ face drained whatever colour was left in the stranger’s face.

“Um, I know that this may be a bit embarrassing but, who are you?”

**A/N: Well damn. What’s the story behind Harry and Louis? And where does Niall fit in?**


	3. iii

**iii.**

**Harry**

_He was awake._

That was the only thing going through Harry’s head. It was the news he had been waiting weeks to hear. He barely managed to call Liam, Niall and Zayn to let them come and get him. He wouldn’t be able to drive anywhere in his state.

It seemed to take forever to get to the hospital and when they got there, no one would tell them anything. He wanted to see Louis, didn’t care about what these people had to say. Want he wanted, was to see Louis with his own eyes.

Jay had been the one to calm them down when she arrived, diffusing the situation smoothly. 

“They’re just doing some tests in him love,” she said as she held his hands in hers. “I’ll get to see him first and then you lot can go.”

That had appeased him for a while and then the doctor came out to talk to them. Harry was not sure of his feelings after he talked to them. Louis was alive but at the moment he was temporarily paralyzed; that in itself didn’t worry Harry. He would love Louis no matter what. Louis would be devastated, because well, not being able to ever play footie again, might kill him. 

No, it was the moment the doctor said that Louis couldn’t remember anything past two years ago, that caused the heart in Harry’s chest to falter momentarily. 

_He hadn’t met Louis two years ago._

He immediately demanded to see Louis, his heart and mind at war. 

“If he sees me, he’ll remember.”

He pleaded with Jay, but she held firm and told him to be patient. He waited another agonizing half hour while Jay went in to see her son, his back beginning to ache but he dare not sit down. Liam, Niall and Zayn were huddled close together, whispering to each other. Harry felt a pang of jealousy run through his body.

He needed his Louis.

When Jay finally said they could go in, Zayn rushed forward, eager to see his best mate. Zayn, who had known Louis since they were around six years old, so it was easy to understand his eagerness. Liam followed quietly behind, having become close to Louis in the four years that he and Zayn had been dating. Niall opted to stay back and reached down to entwine his fingers with Harry’s. 

Niall was Harry’s best mate, and he had been the one to introduce Harry to Louis. He would do anything for Niall; anything. The Irish lad had gotten Harry through some ticklish times and that’s why when he told Harry about his new and strange relationship with Liam and Zayn, Harry had offered him blind support.

He watched from a small distance off the bed as Zayn and Liam reunited with their mate. When Louis finally looked at him, Harry couldn’t stop himself from speaking out. He was already half way to the bed when Louis’ face changed and by this look on his face, Harry knew. 

He tried to brace himself for it, but he still crumbled when Louis said those fated words.

_“…but, who are you?”_

Harry felt his knees give out from under him, but surprisingly he didn’t hit he ground as expected. Niall had caught him. 

“Easy there H,” the Irish brogue more distinctive now, as it was heavy with emotion. Harry felt the burn of the tears and he scrambled up, nearly throwing Niall off balance, burying his face into Niall’s shoulder and finally letting the tears fall.

**A/N: :(  
Will Harry tell Louis who he is? How do you think Louis will react to this revelation?**


	4. iv.

**iv.**

**Louis**

He was sitting up in his bed, his mind going at a thousand miles a minute. It was quiet now and some time had passed, but Louis couldn’t stop replaying the scene that unfolded.

When he finished asking the man who he was, he was more than shocked at his reaction. The blonde caught him in his arms and rushed to comfort him. Liam and Zayn moved closer to the pair, not quite touching them, their bodies leaning towards them still. Even his mother reached out to comfort the now crying man. 

_“He doesnt’t know me. How could he not know me?”_

And just as the man kept repeating that question, it ran through Louis’ mind on a loop. 

“Let’s go love,” the blonde had murmured, leading them towards the door. 

The man went without a fight, Liam and Zayn sharing a look.

Liam came back to the bed, “I’ll be back to see you,” he pressed a kiss to Louis’ cheek. “Love you Lou.”

“Love you too,” Louis said and then he was gone.

His mother said her goodbyes, having to get home to his siblings, who she promised to bring to see him.

“Ernest must be a grown lad by now, I suppose,” he frowned. His only brother had been two the last he remembered, it was jarring to have no recollection of the other two years of his life.

“He’s a proper terror, that one is,” his mum had smiled, that smile she always used when talking about any of her children.

“Good lad,” he had grinned. A few more hugs and kisses were exchanged and then she was gone too, only pausing to give Zayn a quick kiss. 

“And then they were two,” Louis said with a nervous chuckle.

Zayn’s lips twitched, as though he was trying to stop the smile that was fighting to break through.

“You really can’t remember anything from like, the last two years?” Zayn asked. 

“Who was that guy?” Louis asked, evading the question.

Zayn shook his head, knowing what Louis had done, “That was Harry.”

And Louis should’ve known better. 

Zayn refused to say anything more on the subject, opting instead to fill in Louis on some of the things he had missing in his head. It was mostly career oriented and therefore lost Louis’ interest soon. He would know football in his sleep, nothing would ever change that.

“Who’s the blonde?” he asked breaking into some stupid story Zayn was telling.

He didn’t miss the darkening of Zayn’s cheeks at his query, “That was Niall.”

“Neil?” Louis’ nose wrinkled.

Zayn laughed then, his tongue pressed against the back of his teeth; a genuine smile. “No, Ni-all. He’s Irish.”

“Is he Curly’s boyfriend or summat?” Louis asked, still trying to justify their presence before.

Zayn’s smile dropped instantly, _“No!”_ he practically hissed. “Niall’s my...” 

Louis’ sharp gaze flew to Zayn’s face, _“Your?”_

_Jesus, had Liam and Zayn broken up?_

_Had earlier just been a show to make Louis feel at ease?_

Zayn cleared his throat, “Mine and Liam’s boyfriend.”

Louis hadn’t been expecting that. “Say what now?”

Zayn had sighed and explained to Louis, well as well as he could, the machinations of his unorthodox relationship.

After that Zayn said he had to leave, and Louis had let him, needing some space to swallow this new information. And maybe yes, the mystery of the blonde, Niall, had been solved; still, who was the curly haired beauty with the haunting green eyes? 

Why was there a feeling of eased tension in his chest when Zayn said that Niall was not Curly’s boyfriend? 

Louis had so many questions.

Who would answer them?

 

**A/N: Not one for an’s, but tell me what you think yeah? Please? Thanks.**


	5. v.

**v.**

**Harry**

Even though Niall had offered to stay with him, Harry refused and sent him home to his boyfriends. Lottie, had been waiting for him, a lovely meal from Jay with her. Harry had no appetite, not really.

“Do you think Louis wants you to starve yourself?” Lottie asked as she guided Harry to the table.

Harry scoffed, feeling the sting of tears burn his eyes, “He doesn’t even know me.”

Lottie gave a sigh and put down the bowl to give Harry a hug, “You’ve got to be strong for him Haz.”

And Harry knew that, but he couldn’t help but wonder, _who’d be strong for him?_

Eventually he allowed Lottie to force feed him some of the food, before they moved to tidy the house.

“Jesus, Harry,” she cried as she wiped a finger over the top of the mantle. “Have you not cleaned _at all_ since the accident?”

Harry shrugged and threw a glance around the room. He supposed Lottie was right and they should tidy up, although it wasn’t a surety that Louis would even come here.

“He might not come home,” Harry said quietly.

Lottie tilted her head and watched Harry thoughtfully, “I think you might be wrong about that one.”

Harry grimaced and shook his head, he refused to even let himself hope. Nothing could stop the dull throb of pain in his chest, only Louis himself, could do that. And how was that even possible, when Louis didn’t even know who he was.

“Louis won’t want to be a burden to mum,” Lottie went on. “Maybe he can stay at your old place, that’s one level and easier to make renovations for a wheelchair.”

Harry nodded absent mindedly, of course that would make for a better option than their current home. “I’ll get started on that. That’s a great idea Lotts, don’t know what I would do without you.”

Lottie walked over to where he was and wrapped her arms around him. Ever since the day Louis brought him home, she and Harry had been close.

“My brother is too much of a stubborn git to let this get the better of him, and I refuse to have anyone else but you give me nieces and nephews,” she said kissing Harry’s cheek.

“You do know that men can’t actually get pregnant right?” Harry said with a chuckle.

“I’m going to start working on that,” Lottie said.

The two shared a laugh and continued cleaning, even though Harry protested most of the time.

“You really don’t have to do this,” Harry said as he tied up he last bag of rubbish.

“Harold,” Lottie said with a roll of her eyes. “Shut it.”

Pain shot out and squeezed Harry’s heart, _“Jesus, Lotts, you sound just like him.”_

“I’m sorry!” Lottie cried, and her face fell.

Harry tugged her in close and kissed the top of her head, he had to remember that this was hard on her too. Louis had only been a part of his life for a short time, but he’d always been her big brother. 

“Go home and get some sleep,” he murmured, pinching her cheek as he released her. “Tell your mum I’m sorry.”

Lottie glared at him, “Don’t be a bloody twat H, mum isn’t angry at you.”

He shrugged, “Still, the way I behaved...”

“Is expected!” she cried cutting him off. “Your boyfriend could’ve died, he can’t remember you. You’re handling it better than I ever could.” 

Somehow that didn’t make him feel much better and he just needed to be alone so he bade Lottie good night and locked up behind her, she promised to call in the morning; they would have breakfast before they visited Louis.

Harry had nodded and when she was gone and the house was silent as a tomb, he gave into the crushing feeling of defeat that had strangled him the instant Louis asked who he was. 

******

They had met almost two years ago, at some stupid football party that Niall had dragged him to. Apparently he had met Liam at the grocery store and they had gotten to talking, and turned out Liam was the best mate of Niall’s favorite footie player.

When Liam introduced them to Louis, Harry was instantly intrigued. He found himself inexplicably drawn to the slightly arrogant footballer. He spent most of the night trying to find ways to get the older man’s attention, much to the amusement of pretty much everyone in the room. 

There really had been no need for Harry to put in so much effort, because Louis had been infatuated with the boy with the curls from the moment Liam had introduced them. 

Of course Louis had to be a little shit about it and had promptly ignored all of Harry’s efforts, focussing instead on Niall. Harry had pouted for the majority of the night until they made it home and Niall had presented him with Louis’ number. Nine months later, after dealing with the drama of Niall, Liam and Zayn starting their often frowned upon relationship, Harry and Louis decided to move in with each other. 

Harry was estatic, and very much in love. 

Even if the media portrayed him as a gold digger, and most of Louis’ fans blamed him for turning Louis gay. Of course Louis, ever with his sharp tongue and sharper words, put them all in their place. And now because of some reckless fool all of it was gone.

Curling up on the couch, Harry clutched a worn photo of him and Louis from some party they had attended; Harry’s face was buried in Louis’ shoulder and Louis was gazing at him with so much affection, the photographer had jokingly said that they made him want to shit rainbows. 

Squeezing his eyes shut, Harry wished that when he woke up the next morning it would all be a bad dream and Louis would be grumbling about him making his tea all wrong. 

Even as the tears dried and he fell into a restless sleep, Harry’s fingers didn’t loosen, not daring to let the picture fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for still being here, means a lot to me. 
> 
> So, someone said to me that the story is confusing. Fair enough, but what I'm doing is like, there will be flashbacks along the way, telling the back story all the while they're dealing with the present. Some of the flashbacks will be bits and pieces of Louis' memory coming back. 
> 
> Bare with me please, I just prefer more realistic drama. It's fiction yeah, but I'd like it to be as realistic as possible. Like things that could actually happen, yeah? 
> 
> Well *ahem* talked more than I expected. Hope you enjoy, and see you (hopefully) next chapter. xx


	6. vi.

**vi.**

**Harry**

_'Wake up Haz,'_ the voice filtered into Harry's brain, slow like mush. He _knew_ it couldn't be real, but that didn't stop him from settling in, allowing himself some sort of...peace? Well, whatever it was, Harry would take it.

"Don't wanna Lou," he mumbled into his pillow.

He hoped the voice would stay, even if only bolstering the crazy need for this cry for sanity, of normalcy. 

_'But I'm hungry,'_ and there was that whiny tilt in his voice. Harry smiled into the pillow and then that smile dropped and he was shocked back into the realm of reality by the shrill ringing of the phone. He squeezed his eyes shut, unwilling to let the hot tears gathered there, to seep past his lids and trickle down his face. _It was real;_ if only but for a few minutes.

After a few moments, he realized that the phone was still ringing. He reached blindly for it, muttering what he hoped the person would interpret as a greeting.

"Jesus, I thought something was wrong Harry!" It was Lottie.

She sounded out of breath and in the verge of panicky. Harry flipped over on to his back, blinking slowly and willing his brain to wake up properly.

"Lotts?" he said, interrupting what was now a steady flow of chastisement. 

"What?" she snapped.

"Is Lou..." he broke off, the words clogging in his throat. His brain's first irrational thought was that Lottie was calling because something had happened with Louis.

He heard her release a choppy gust of breath, "No Haz, _God, no!"_

And the creeping tightness around his heart faded away; for the time being. It was barely half six in the morning, at least that's what his clock said, if his vision were to be counted on. As it was, he could barely manage to open his eyes past slits. 

"It's butt-fuck early," he yawned.

Lottie made a spluttering sound and Harry might have chuckled, only because he could see the expression on her face with startling clarity. "I did _not_ call you to talk about what you and my brother do at... _anytime!"_

"We fuck," Harry laughed and yes, it might be odd to most people that he was talking to her this way, but to anyone who truly understood Harry and Lottie's relationship, knew this quite normal.

"Mum's right next to me,"Lottie quipped. "She can hear you, mister."

"Shit!" Harry cursed. "You little weasel! Good morning Jay!"

Jay could be heard in the background chuckling softly, "Good morning Harry."

"Why are you so evil?" Harry groaned, pushing his face into the pillow.

Lottie giggled, "I'm the sweetest girl ever! How very _dare_ you insinuate otherwise?"

"You're lying to yourself, love," Harry said. "Now what do I owe the plesure of this too early call?"

"We're talking to the doctors today," she said softly.

And _oh._

Harry hadn't been notified, and yes, he _knew_ that it was the law and all but it still left him with a horrible pain inside.

"I see," he murmured. "Just, you know, let me know what happens?"

"Aren't you coming with?" Lottie asked, her voice going high.

"You know I can't go Lotts," Harry sighed. "'M not family."

"Of fucking course you are!" and there was the Tomlinson temper he knew oh so well. "Just be there for half noon. And if you dare think about not showing I _will_ cut your cock off!"

 _"Charlotte Elizabeth Tomlinson!_ was heard in the background and Harry laughed loudly when Lottie whispered a hurried goodbye and hung up the phone. Harry lay there for a few minutes and then grabbed his phone and sent a text to Niall. He really hoped that the older man were free, because Harry really needed him right now. 

After sending him the text, Harry got out of bed and head into his bathroom. He took a quick shower and was glad to see a reply from Nialk when he got back. He dried off and tugged on a pair of boxers, before sitting to read the text. 

Of course, Niall cussed him out about the ungodly hour, and _really,_ it was after seven now, but he had agreed to breakfast. Apparently Liam and Zayn were going to visit Louis that morning and well, Niall didn't want to be the odd fourth wheel.

Harry scoffed to himself, Niall was an idiot, but he was glad to have him. He threw on some clothes and grabbed his phone and car keys. 

He put the phone on hands-free and called Niall.

"Fuck off Haz!" was the less than cheerful greeting he got. 

He nearly choked on a laugh, "Well good morning to you too Nialler."

"I'm already up and getting dressed," Niall grumbled. "Hopped into the bath as I read your text, fecking ponce."

"I'll be there in twenty, and tell your boyfriends I'm sorry for stealing you away," Harry said.

"You should be, I was planning on being wrecked this morning," Niall huffs.

"See you soon bro," Harry said ending the call before Niall could go into detail about just _how_ he was going to be wrecked. 

And at least for a few hours Harry was able to pretend that his world was alright.


	7. vii.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zouiam moments ahead.  
> If you wanna talk, drop suggestions, hit me up in kik: purplepixie143 or come say Hi on tumblr: http://www.purplepixie143.tumblr.com
> 
> I'd love to chat x

**vii.**

**Louis**

Louis had never been one to stay still for too long and he was already itching to be out of the hospital. There was just something about being in this place, surrounded by death and sickness, that made the blood in Louis' veins run ice cold.

He was sitting up in his bed when the door opened and Liam's head popped in, his eyes immediately landing on the bed, his face lighting up with a brilliant smile.

"He's awake," and Louis figured he was speaking to Zayn.

"Is that Zee? Why doesn't that perfect specimen get in here?" Louis said with a grin.

Liam frowned, "Aren't you glad to see me? I was your friend before he came along."

Zayn laughed and pushed his boyfriend aside, "Move aside _Leeyum_ , Louis and I are bros." 

Liam scoffed, but the look of fondness wouldn't leave his face, as he watched the two men embrace. When Louis leaned back against his pillow, he turned his body to Liam expectantly, "And why aren't you hugging me yet, you twat?" 

Liam bustled forward and wrapped his arms around Louis, pressing a kiss into his cheek.

"Christ Li, aren't the two you have enough?" Louis said jokingly, the smile dying in his lips as he took in Liam and Zayn's expressions. He frowned, not knowing what had caused that reaction, "What's wrong with you lot?"

"You said," Liam's voice was shaking, and he looked at Zayn for confirmation. Louis watched as Zayn nodded - before looking at him - curiosity dominant in his gaze.

Liam cleared his throat and tried again, "You always say that to me about Zayn and Niall."

Louis' frown deepened; _had he really?_ He hadn't even realized, but that was good right? 

"I remembered something!" he said, a slow grin forming on his lips.

Zayn giggled; _giggled_ , and threw himself into Liam's arms. He beamed at Louis, his tongue pressed against his teeth and Louis couldn't help but think how ridiculously handsome he was. 

"You remembered something," Liam repeated with a nod, the goofy grin in his face, achingly familiar. 

Louis was happy about that, the day had definitely started off more positively than he had hoped. He was now looking forward to talking to the doctor later during the day. 

"It's like we helped," Zayn said, perching himself on the bed, as Liam moved away to pull back the curtains in the room. 

Louis groaned and flipped Liam off, "How do you put up with him Zee?"

"The same way you have all these years, because I'm absolutely ace!" Liam said rolling his eyes, his tone dry as he made his way back to the bed. He flopped into the chair and then grabbed Louis' hand and gave it a squeeze. "You love me."

And maybe it was the situation they were in, but it made Louis' chest tighten, and tears spiked his eyes, "I do. Very much."

"If Ni were here, he'd call us a bunch of saps," Zayn said with a laugh. 

_Ni. Niall._

"Ah yes," Louis said. "You have _two_ boyfriends Liam Payne. Never had you pegged for a slag, mate."

And of course, Liam blushed and Louis laughed loudly, expecting that response. Glad that he got it, because that was so blessedly familiar.

And for a brief moment, Louis felt a pang of jealousy. And if he were to be honest, he had always been somewhat jealous of what Liam and Zayn had. And now they had added someone new to their dynamic. If the addition had made them anymore sickening, Louis was certain he'd shit rainbows and unicorns.

Just as soon as the feeling had come, it was gone. And that surprised Louis, it was though his heart was saying, _you don't need to be jealous anymore._

"Bring him with you later," Louis said. "Niall, I mean," when Liam and Zayn peered at him curiously.

"You sure?" Zayn was ever cautious.

Liam, well, not so much, "He'll be so over the moon about this!"

And Louis was glad, he wanted to do this. Needed to, couldn't have everyone to continue pretending that the past two years of their lives hadn't existed. 

"Tell me about you three," and he loved the way their faces lit up at that.

"I'm going to call him, Zayn can tell you about us," Liam said, brushing a kiss on Louis' forehead before heading outside for a bit of privacy.

In that short space of time, Liam was gine -though it seemed longer than necessary- Zayn managed to fill him in on the unorthodox relationship the three of them had and even about Louis and Niall's own close relationship. Zayn was in the middle of telling Louis another funny _Nouis_ story, when Liam finally came back into the room.

"What's wrong?" Louis asked, seeing the frown on Liam's face.

However, instead of answering Louis, he turned to Zayn and the two of them, much to Louis' chagrin, carried on with a silent conversation. Louis was having none of it.

"Oi you wankers, I'm right here. Tell me just what the bloody hell is going on!"

Zayn reached out and patted his hand consolingly, but Louis was feeling quite irritated and pulled his hand away, doing his best to ignore the sharp intake of breathe from Zayn.

"Niall won't come," Liam said finally, his voice flat.

Oh.

"But why not?" Louis was surprised he felt oddly hurt by this.

And there it was again, a shared look and Zayn's sad eyes not meeting his anymore. Louis needed to know what was the real reason, and he wanted to know that very moment.

"Said it felt like a betrayal to Harry," and it was so soft, Louis almost missed it.

And there it was again. This Harry person that everyone seemed to care a great deal about. 

"So, he and Harry are close I take it?" Louis asked a plan already formulating in his brain.

Zayn nodded, "Like us."

And Louis understood, he would protect Liam and Zayn at all costs. This Harry was lucky to have a friend like Niall.

"It's okay, you'll keep coming though, right? I mean until I get out of 'ere." 

"Of course!" from Zayn.

"Wild horses couldn't keep me away," Liam chimed in.

"Love you guys," Louis said.

And they left with a flurry of hugs and kisses, promising to visit again in the morning because they wouldn't make it back for the evening visits. Louis hadn't minded, he knew his mother and hopefully his sisters would be there. 

He had a few questions for the doctor, and after Liam and Zayn's visit, he had a lot more. That night after his mother had kissed him goodnight - and ushered everyone out of the room - Louis slipped into a restless sleep. And sometime during the night, he woke himself with a startled scream; his heart was racing and his skin was clammy. 

He had been dreaming, and that wasn't the part that scared him; no. It was _what_ he was dreaming about. All he could see were green eyes. Sad and empty, green eyes. It shook him to the core, that feeling of helplessness. Not knowing anything, having nothing to reassure himself that everything would be fine. And if he cried himself back to sleep, well, no one had to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Narry bromance.  
> The meeting with the doctor and a Larry flashback.  
> Thanks for still being here, means alot.  
> ♥♥♥


	8. viii.

**viii.**

**Harry**

When Niall threw himself into the passenger seat, he threw a glare at Harry. 

"I hate you," he muttered leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

"Lying is a sin Niall James," Harry grinned and leaned over to ruffle Niall's sleep tousled head. "You loooove me."

Niall opened one eye and peered at Harry, "It must be the fucking dimples," he grumbled.

Harry of course grinned, showing the very dimples Niall was grumbling about, "First on the agenda: breakfast!"

Niall grinned, "See, and that there. That's _definitely_ why I love you."

Harry laughed and shook his head, "Such a whore for food Horan," he said driving off.

They were quiet for a bit, the world around them just waking up.

Niall yawned and fiddled with the radio a bit, searching through the stations, trying to find the right music. It took a while before he settled on a soft rock station, a song by Diana Krall filtering into the car. Harry looked over and rolled his eyes, "Ever since you started shacking up with Liam and Zayn, you've become a sap Nialler."

Niall flipped him off, "Well at least I don't pretend to know how to play footy to impress me boyfriend." 

And these were normal things that, normally, they would say to each other. Back when things could be considered normal.

Immediately Niall realized his mistake, "Oh God Haz! I wasn't thinking!" And anyone could tell, the Irishman was genuinely upset.

Harry reached over and grabbed Niall's hand, "Ni, it's fine. Everyone is treating me like some fragile creature. I don't expect that from you."

Niall nodded but he still looked guilty. Harry squeezed his fingers and smiled when Niall met his gaze. "Now let's get some breakfast."

"And fun?" Niall's smile was bright and all was right in the world for the time being.

******

Harry dropped Niall back home, having only a few minutes before the meeting. They had gone to the park and Niall had watched Harry feed a family of ducks swimming along the surface of the small pond. For the most part Niall was quiet and that in itself reminded Harry that all really _wasn't_ right. 

When he walked into the waiting room, head ducked and chin tucked into his chest, Lottie and Jay were already there. Immediately Jay wraps him in a hug and presses a kiss on his brow. She whispers soft words that he can't register and pulls back, making way for Lottie.

"I knew you'd be here," she said but Harry can detect the slight quiver in her voice. "And..." she paused and lowered her voice, "Lou would kill me ifI cut off his second favourite thing on you."

_And Harry wonders, if **his penis** isn't the favourite, then, what is?_

The doctor joined them a few moments and ushered them into a room. Harry opted to stand in the corner, leaving the last chair empty for Louis. Then he flushed brightly, belatedly remembering that Louis was in a wheelchair.

Shortly after he settled into the chair, Louis wheeled into the room. Liam behind him, face set grimly. Louis smiled at his mum and made a face at his sister. Harry steeled himself for his body's reaction when Louis' gaze finally rested on him.

When all Louis did was smile at him politely, Harry's stomach clenched and he somehow counted it as a small victory. The doctor starts the conversation then and Harry, well he tries to listen. The thing is, that Louis serves to be rather distracting. He is exactly as Harry has always known him. His movements and the way he carried himself was still very much _Louis_. 

They start to discuss the possibility of going home and with a start, Harry realizes that Lottie was sly. The _home_ Louis would remember was their first place together, and Harry was grateful that he had insisted on keeping it for sentimental reasons.

"I want to go to _my_ home mum," Louis said and his jaw was set, the stubborn expession on his face was one Harry was all too familiar with.

"Lou," Liam said softly. "Harry lives there with you."

"Oh," and Louis blinks slowly. He goes still for a bit and Harry fights to keep his body still; he digs his nails into his palms. Louis' gaze flickered to Liam's briefly and the two have a three second conversation that - yes Harry knows have happened before - shakes Harry to the core. He's used to being in on those types of moments, now he was a stranger on the outside looking in.

"I want to go home," Louis' gaze met and kept his. Harry looked away and caught Liam and Lottie's smug smiles and he coughs when Jay throws a quick wink at him. 

He looked at Louis, heart hammering against his ribs, "Whenever you're ready."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't do the flashback in this chapter because I want to keep them short. But its coming, more of a memory Louis gets back. 
> 
> Thanks for reading   
> Riney xx


	9. ix.

** ix. **

** Louis **

There wasn't much to do waiting for the days until his release from the hospital and Louis spent most of it in seclusion. Of course Liam and Zayn visited and Louis would be lying if Niall's continued refusal to see him doesn't hurt, but he figures that they will see each other soon enough.

He was going home; a home he apparently shared with Harry. He hated that he couldn't remember anything. If anything it was frustrating and Louis found himself thinking quite a bit about the gangly man with the curls and piercing green eyes. 

He was silently in awe of the man, well boy, really. He could almost always feel the deep sadness that seemed to lay just beneath the calm demeanor Harry had about him. He would never say anything to Louis unless Louis initiated it and even then, his answers were always so polite; too polished. Practised.

Louis couldn't see what attracted him to Harry, (although there had to have been _something_ because they had been together for two years, nearly three) but there was some underlying force that compelled him to try and figure out the younger man.

The day before his release, Lottie came to visit. And even though he was glad to see her, it felt strange with just the two of them in the room.

"Is mum outside then?" he asked as he pushed himself up in the bed. He frowned down at his unnaturally still legs, he had been working with the on-call therapist at the hospital and despite her being lovely and encouraging Louis was disheartened. There had been no real changes in his condition and well. Not very hopeful at all.

Lottie shook her head, "Just me today. Mum had to work a double, so Harry dropped me off."

There it was. Somehow it all came back to Harry. 

"Tell me about him," he finds himself saying. His soft words loud to his own ears. And Lottie is blinking at him, a soft smile on her face. 

"The doctors don't think it's a good idea for people to tell you things," she started.

Louis madea frustrated sound and waved her off, "I'm about to _live_ with this man Lotts. I deserve to know _something!_ "

He had a point and she knew it. His sister sighed and tucked her legs under her as she made herself comfortable. "You brought Harry home for Christmas that first time. He was the perfect gentleman and we teased you for hours on how you managed to snag someone as perfect as Harry."

"We knew that right away you loved him very much," Lottie continued, she wasn't looking at her brother but there was a soft smile on her face. "When you looked at him you just..." her voice trailed off and Louis felt a sharp jab of pain in his head. He closed his eyes and tried to even out his breathing. He was seeing something, Lottie's words bringing something out of the dark recesses of his mind.

******

_The wind blowing in his face was cold but he welcomed its biting sting as he sucked deeply in the cigarette firmly set between his lips and forefingers. He exhaled on a sigh and watched as the smoke curled in the air and finally disappeared.  
There was a tightness in his chest and he rubbed at it absent-mindedly. His eyes were trained on the window, where he could see his family laughing around the room. His sisters' cheeks were rosy as they oohed and ahhed over their many gifts. His mother had her face buried into his step-father's chest, a look of complete fondness on her face. _

_The tightness eased and then his eyes landed on a broad back, curls tickling the nape if the man's neck. He watched as the man said something to Fizzy which had her turning a bright red as she giggled._

_The man turned and almost as though he **knew** Louis was watching, he looked straight at Louis._

_**Green.** _

_And all at once the tightness was back and Louis felt as though he was suffocating. The green eyes looked concerned and a frown creased his brow and, no, that was not a look Louis ever wants to see on his face again. He finds the energy in him to offer a smile and immediately the face inside softens._

_And Louis feels...he **loves** this man._

Louis blinks and a loud gasps bursts out of his mouth and Lottie is scrambling to her feet, panic etched on her face.

"Louis!" her voice is high pitched and stressed.

"I'm...oh sorry Lotts. I'm fine. I must've zoned out," he said. He had decided that he would keep his memory to himself for the time being.

Lottie didn't look convinced until Louis tugged on her hair and made a face, "I'm fine love. Honest."

She nodded slowly - sinking slowly back into the chair - her frame still tense and alert. Louis reached for her hand and threaded their fingers together and giving it a squeeze. Finally she relaxed and filled him in on her day. The subject of Harry was not broached again and Louis fell asleep even more confused than ever.


	10. x.

** x. **

** Harry **

Giving the counter one final swipe, Harry threw the cloth in the sink and went into the livingroom and flopped himself down next to Niall, who was engrossed in the golf playing on the telly.

Harry huffed and tried to get comfortable and his twitching must get to his friend because the blonde sighed heavily and tugged Harry's head down on his lap. Immediately Harry closed his eyes and gave a contented sigh as Niall stroked his hair.

"Alright?" 

"He's coming home tomorrow Ni," and his voice shook and Niall stopped stroking for a minute before resuming, "And are you going to be ok?" 

Harry shook his head, "No, but what's the alternative? I'd rather have some if him than none at all."

And there it was. The truth of it all. Even though Louis couldn't remember him, at least he would have him close by.

"I told Liam off, he shouldn't have put you on the spot like that," Niall frowned.

Harry turned his head and looked up at Niall, he wasn't mad at Liam, no. If anything he would be forever grateful to Liam. Somehow he knew that Liam had convinced Louis to come home. To him.

"What if he hates me?" Harry's voice is soft and small. 

Niall shifted and lifted Harry up by the shoulders and crushed him to his chest. "He could never hate you Haz. He'd be stupid if he did."

"Okay," Harry said and slid back to his original place in Niall's lap. Niall hummed and rubbed his back and didn't stop even when Harry fell asleep.

******

Jay was bringing Louis home because Zayn and Liam had to work, they would come over, to give Louis the comforts of normalcy. Harry was nervous and there was trepidation coiled low in his stomach as the clock ticked away, eating away at the time. Each stroke bringing the time of Louis' arrival closer and closer. 

Lottie was in the kitchen warming up some food she haf brought over. They would eat lunch together, getting Louis settled before leaving to get on with their daily rituals.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and a smile spread over his face when he saw his mum's contact info flashing on the screen.

"Mum," his voice cracked and he bit the inside of his jaw to keep the tears from flowing.

"Oh baby," Anne's voice softened and Harry just wanted to crawl into her arms and never leave their safety. "He's not there yet?" 

And glancing at the clock, "No. Just in a bit though I suppose."

Anne hummed, "It will be fine Harry. He is still Louis and deep inside somewhere he knows that and he knows _you_."

Her words were supposed to be comforting but somehow they only made his apprehension claw at his chest. He spent a few more minutes on the phone and was just about to say his farewells, when Lottie came into the room, eyes wide.

"He's here," was all she said.

"Mum..."

"Go baby and know you can call me anytime. I love you," Anne said.

"Love you too mum," he said and hung up. Lottie was moving to stand next to him and he reached out blindly between them and entertwined their fingers together. 

"Breathe," Lottie whispered just as the door opened and Jay stepped in. She gave the two of them a tiny smile and wave before pushing the door back and then Louis was there. He had gotten a hair cut and a shave. This was Harry's favourite look on Louis. Soft and fluffy.

Louis has a sheen of perspiration on his brow and Harry can see the determined set of his jaw as he wheels the chair through the door. When he finally comes to a halt he looks up and catches Harry's eyes.

"Home sweet home."

And there's no denying the lurch of Harry's heart in his chest.

******

Lunch had been animated and loud; just like old times. And Harry had found himself slipping up a few times. He would find himself leaning over to lace his fingers with Louis' only just remembering and pullung his hand away. Of course Louis stiffening every time Harry even _breathed_ in his direction, did not help to put any spark of hope in Harry. 

Jay and Lottie left shortly after they helped Harry clean up - despite his protests - promising to visit soon. And Harry presses his head against the door as he listened to the sound of Jay's car faded away.

Louis had wheeled himself into the livingroom and was slowly touching each surface, letting himself get used to his surroundings.

"Your family's gone," Harry says and flinches at the way Louis' body goes taut at the sound of his voice. "If there's anything you need..."

"Thank you, but no. I'll be fine. What time are Liam and Zayn coming?" Louis asked cutting him off.

"Sometime after four. They have to get Niall first," Harry said. 

"I'm assuming that I'm staying down the stairs?" 

Harry nodded, unsure of what to say or do. Louis had not yet looked at him and it hurt. 

"Right then, I'm going to get a nap before they get here."

Harry nodded, "Would you like me to take you there?" 

"What for? This is my house," Louis snaps and Harry recoils as though he got stung by a bee.

"Sorry," he said quietly. "I'll leave be."

"Cheers mate," Louis says and then he's off down the hall, leaving Harry there staring after him. 

When their friends arrive at a quarter to five, Harry locks himself away in his room listening to their laughter. And it was good to hear that familiar laugh, felt the weight of it heavy in his bones; but it was killing him that he was left out in the cold. And if he cries himself into a restless sleep, no one knows (or probably even cares).


	11. xi.

** xi. **

** Louis **

Louis had meant to take a nap but instead he had found himself acclimatizing himself to his (once again) new surroundings. Yes, this was his house but somehow it felt completely foreign; as though he had somehow outgrown it. 

The house was quiet and he wondered how he and Harry co-existed before the accident. To be honest he really didn't know what to make of Harry. The younger man seemed polite and somewhat distant and quiet. Louis couldn't shake the feeling that Harry was not being himself.

He rolled around the room touching everything and looking at pictures that were not familiar to him. Pictures of Liam and Zayn, smiling goofily at the lens. And even pictures of Niall and him hamming it up for the camera. 

He didn't remember any of them.

His suitcases sat by the closet and Louis didn't recall having seeing when they had been brought here. With a heavy sigh, he made his way to them and spent the next two hours making himself feel somewhat normal.

******

Just a little before six there was a knock at his door and Harry's voice filtered through letting him know that the boys had arrived. Louis wheeled himself to the bathroom and washed his face before heading out to greet his friends and their boyfriend.

Zayn plopped himself in Louis' lap and smothered his face with kisses and Louis was ever thankful that he had people like Zayn and Liam in his life. He shoved his friend off and met Niall's shuttered stare.

He offered the blonde a tentative smile and a wave.The man in question nodded in reply and excused himself to the kitchen, where he expected Harry was, since there was no sign of him anywhere.

"How are you doing?" Liam, ever the mother hen asked as he sat on the couch.

Louis made a face, he didn't have to lie to his friends, "I feel completely fucked."

Liam laughed and reached out to squeeze his knee, "At least you're home now." 

Zayn made a face but schooled his features when he realized Louis was watching him. He gave Louis a smile and snuggled into Liam's side. 

"So Niall..." Louis trailed off, nodding his head in the direction Niall went.

Liam swallowed hard, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat, "He just has to get used to ya know..." 

"He loves you and he wants you to get better but Harry..." Zayn bit his lips.

_Yes, of course he was worried about Harry. Everyone was worried about Harry._

And Louis got it, he _did_. He just hoped they remembered to worry about him as well.

Zayn, ever the observant one noticed Louis' discomfort and ruffled Louis' hair. "You actually shaved, 's nice seeing your ugly mug." 

"Fuck off, you pretty shit," Louis grinned playfully pushing Zayn away. Liam rolled his eyes and shied away, knowing that somehow he'd end up in the fray and he'd get the brunt of it.

"So you all settled in?" he asked.

Louis made a face, "Yeah...well no...I don't know." Liam just waited, knowing that Louis wasn't finished.

"It's just something feels off," Louis said. "Like I know this is my house and I know where everything is or most of it, but it doesn't feel like...." he paused and looked at his friends. _"Home."_

Liam and Zayn exchanged a look but neither said a word and well they didn't get a chance because Harry and Niall joined them then; arms laden down with food (pizza) and drinks.

They put on the television, (Liam thought it was a good idea for Louis to be kept abreast of current events) and made small talk while they ate. Harry share out the food and bade them goodnight. He didn't ask Louis if he needed help (and well after earlier, he really wasn't to blame) and disappeared up the stairs. 

Niall, who had been quiet throughout the meal was watching Louis intently.

"Something on my face Neil?" Louis asked and he along with everyone froze.

_That was something familiar!"_

Louis blinked rapidly, his mouth opening and closing without a sound. 

"You always call me that," Niall said, his voice soft and cracking.

"Well that's great," Louis said a hesitant smile on his lips. "Thought I had just mucked this up even more."

And when Niall smiled - and to Louis, it was like staring into the sun - another piece of his shattered world slid back into place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never really written angst. It makes me jittery and my emotions go all over, but it is needed for this story. So please just bare with it? It will be less angsty as we go along.
> 
> Thankies,
> 
> Riney x


End file.
